Episode 540 When It is Time To Step Back From Social Media With Spencer Forman

Show Summary

Rob Cairns of the SDM show interviews Spencer Foreman about their decisions to significantly reduce their time on social media. They discuss how constant exposure negatively impacted their mental health, leading to anxiety and unwanted emotional involvement in online content. Both found that stepping back allowed them to be more present, engage in healthier activities like reading, and experience reduced anxiety, particularly before sleep. They critique the addictive nature and negativity prevalent on many platforms, contrasting it with more constructive online interactions and the distractions from real-life engagement. The conversation touches on the feeling of being overwhelmed by global issues amplified online and the benefits of focusing on controllable aspects of life. Ultimately, they advocate for a more mindful approach to technology and social media consumption to improve overall well-being.

Show Notes

Main Topic: Rob Cairns and Spencer Foreman discuss their decisions to significantly reduce their time spent on social media and news consumption due to the negative impacts on their mental health and well-being.

Speakers:

Rob Cairns: Host, Canadian podcaster in the WordPress space.
Spencer Foreman (Spence): Guest, friend of Rob, also in the WordPress space, from the US.

Key Reasons for Reducing Social Media/News:

Mental Health & Headspace: Both found social media detrimental to their mental state. Rob wanted to be more present and improve his “headspace.” Spence described having a “meltdown” where social media amplification turned him into someone he didn’t want to be, causing anxiety, especially before sleep.
Negativity & Outrage Culture: They highlighted the prevalence of negativity, arguments, outrage, and disrespectful behavior (violating the “golden rule”) on platforms, particularly Twitter (which Spence called an “outrage engine”) and Reddit. They also noted negativity within specific online communities, like some WordPress groups.
Time Sink & Distraction: The “endless scroll” or “doom scrolling” was consuming time that could be better spent on other activities.
Feeling Overwhelmed & Disempowered: Social media amplified global problems and injustices they felt powerless to change, leading to frustration and anxiety.
Content & Misinformation: They criticized news media for often focusing on outrage and fear, lacking objective reporting (“opinionists” rather than reporters), and showing suspicious uniformity across channels.
Impact on Real-Life Interactions: Rob noted the detrimental effect on face-to-face socializing, citing examples of families and couples ignoring each other in restaurants while looking at devices.

Actions Taken:

Rob: Removed all public social media apps from his new phone (only allowing private messages via Beeper), drastically reduced his participation in Facebook groups, stopped engaging in contentious online debates (like WordPress “shenanigans”), removed news apps, and directs people to his personal website for updates instead of Facebook.
Spence: After his “meltdown” and advice from friends, he used tools to heavily filter his Twitter feed (muting trigger words/topics), stopped using Reddit, made a conscious effort to replace doom-scrolling with reading (using online libraries like LibGen/Z-Library), and focused on improving “sleep sanitation” (strict routines, no phone before bed). He also made pacts with colleagues to avoid discussing stressful current events.

Positive Outcomes:

Both reported significant improvements in their mental well-being.
Rob is reading 20-30% more.
Spence has reduced anxiety and significantly improved his sleep quality.
Both feel less stressed and more in control by disengaging from the constant negativity and outrage.

Alternative Focus:

They shifted focus to activities like reading, hobbies (cooking, old movies, documentaries for Spence), exercise, being present in real life, and focusing on creating content for their businesses rather than consuming endless feeds.
Spence emphasized the importance of the “Zero Regret Framework” and the “Golden Rule” in interactions.

Concluding Thought: Spence expressed cautious optimism that society might be reaching a point where the negative consequences of current social media culture become widely recognized, potentially leading to a shift back towards more meaningful, less toxic forms of interaction (“the wall is going to come down”).