Episode 115: Rob Cairns Talks About His Battle With Mental Health and Depression

Show Notes

Episode 115

00:00

Hey everybody, Robert Cairns here. I’m founder, CEO and Chief creator of amazing ideas of stunning digital marketing. And today’s podcast, I want to talk about why mental health is so important. And what you can do to change it if you’re having issues. This is from personal experience, I’m gonna be really transparent. And frankly, this was a hard one to do. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the podcast.

00:38

Hey, everybody, Robert Cairns here. Today, I wanted to talk about something really important to me. And that’s mental health. This podcast comes from the heart, it’s personal experts. I didn’t pre write it, I just wanted to talk to you. Before I began, I really want to say I’m not looking for empathy. I’m not looking for people to say, Rob, I’m sorry, you’ve gone through this, I’m not looking for any of that. I’m not looking for self validation. What I’m looking for is to share my experience, so you understand what I’ve been through. So you don’t make the same mistake that I’ve made.

01:23

And you don’t do it the way I’ve done. And maybe you can learn something from my bad experience.

01:31

So when COVID started, and we went into lockdown in March, I think I went into a bad state of depression this past summer, we had a lot going on Jill and I. And frankly, it impacted how I feel the ability to make money, my marriage and a multitude of things. And I kept telling myself, I’d be okay when I really wasn’t. And what I didn’t do was I didn’t reach out to my wife and say I need help. That was a big mistake. It culminated with five weeks to go and a bit, Joe asked me to leave. Now, what I will tell you is we are working on stuff. And Joe said, I need to take care of me first before I take care of us. And I I really do agree with him. Also tell you still love her very much. And frankly, I hit rock bottom a little bit. And sometimes that’s what you need to do. And I really, really, really wasn’t doing it for a while for a couple of weeks. And then I realized what happened. And then I actually went through a bad state of depression, which impacted everything else. And two of the things Joe has said to me, and the last one they’ll share this with you is I have a bit of a short fuse, and they need to work on it. And I always ask for validation. Well, I think I was asking for validation. Because I was so down. My self esteem was shot, my confidence was shot. And I’ve never been that guy. I’ve always managed to make things happen. And even when I went through a bad breakup five years ago, before Joe and I got together got married. I wasn’t that guy. But this time I was. And what all I will ever say is, I’m sorry, I put you through that. Because I heard the most important person to me, and that’s my wife killed McLean cares. We are talking, we will figure this out together. It’s gonna take time. Now, what have I done? I’ve done a lot of reading and the largest self reflecting the self reflecting sort of told me made me aware of what I was doing. The reading, frankly, has helped. I’ve read some self help books on anger management. I’ve read some other books on you know, thanks to help. And I’ve done and that’s really been a big help to me, frankly. And a big help to what I think will be asked in the long term. I’m reflecting. I realized I went through depression, I realized I had self esteem issues. I realized that I was causing problems for Joe. And that’s really hard for me to admit. But I do admit it. And I have apologized to Joel. But that doesn’t make it all better. What makes it better Zach dealing with things. And how I’ve dealt with things is as follows. I’ve read a lot of self help books on anger management on self esteem and confidence to help the last couple of weeks. I’ve been working harder than I’ve ever worked. And frankly, I’ve gotten charged counsel, again, why absolutely adore. And that’s a big help. admitting you need help are going to see somebody. The other thing I’ve done, which has helped keep me calm and even keel is I’ve started meditating for about three weeks now. and meditate 15 minutes in the morning, and 30 minutes for bedtime. It’s made me calm. It’s made my fuse even longer. I almost never get upset anymore. I’m far from perfect, but I’m working on. And I know that. And I know, as Joe says, things take time. And I don’t want to rush this. I want to do this right for me, for Jill, and for us.

06:11

And that’s what I care about. It’s frankly, the only thing I care about right now.

06:19

And the key, the first realization, any of this is to admit, you’ve got a problem. And I’ve admitted, I have a problem. There’s no question my mind, things could have gone better. I know that. When I go back to look at it, I realize what’s happened. And I admit, it’s no question, I’ve got a problem. So that’s the first battle. The second battle is communication. I think communication is really good. And the third battle is to keep that and that we’re doing the professional help helps the meditation helps, everything else helps. So those things all help. So what I would urge anybody to do is if you get into a point where you’re feeling down and depressed, don’t do what I did to bottle it up, talk to your partner, seek out a professional, get some help. You know, I’ve got an appointment on Wednesday, and I have to tell you, I’m looking really forward to that appointment. I don’t dread them. I actually look forward to and then I work on after the appointment. What the counselor and I talked about, because I think that’s really important. You can’t just go into the appointment for an hour and say, ah, they’re gonna fix it all for me. It takes time and effort. So do me a favor during COVID Please take care of yourself and if you need help reach out for as always, Robert Cairns. I hope you enjoyed the pockets. And I hope you’re all doing well. And remember this podcast they came with my white father boost cares keep your feet on the ground. Keep reaching for the stars picked up this seat. Bye for now.